Missing Months

Missing Months of Writing

I can’t blame lethargy for lack of putting pen to paper. I can’t even blame my husband. I can only blame a general spiritual malaise. You see, if lethargy caused it, I wouldn’t be putting out so much energy on yard work, house makeovers, and camping plans. If my husband were at fault, he’d only be an easy excuse. Yes, he’s slowing down physically and needs my help, from time to time, for simple things like getting his shoes on. But really, he demands very little of my energy.

Perhaps malaise isn’t the right term for not writing, either. I grope for an explanation of my inner mood. I want to use the description of the saints, “dark night”, but the mood, the vision, isn’t dark. I’m deeply aware that God is present and that I stand in the light; I find myself blinded, and without a guide to lead me, (my spiritual director is now home with God), I stumble in its brilliance..

I am humbled by the present state of affairs. It seems there is nothing to say that hasn’t already been said before by far better writers than me. Is that an excuse? Can I retire from writing? Or is it my destiny to carry on?   If for no other reason than to force myself to focus, I will to carry on. No doubt had I been born in the current era, I would have been diagnosed with ADD. That isn’t all bad. I’ve read such people have much to contribute to the world. So I will again ADD bits and pieces of my thoughts to the Jack of All blog. Perhaps you’ll have fun reading it.